The Complete Idiot's Guide to Amazing Sex, Third Edition by Sari Locker

Author:Sari Locker
Format: mobi, epub, azw3
Tags: Sexual Instruction, Love & Romance, Health & Fitness, Psychology, Family, Sex instruction, Sex, Family & Relationships, Sexuality, Marriage, Human Sexuality, Self-Help, Love, Sex Relations
ISBN: 9781592573271
Publisher: Alpha
Published: 2005-07-31T20:00:00+00:00

Photo by Barnaby Hall

Page 219

Sharing Your Fantasies

Before your imagination takes over and you get lost in your favorite sexual fantasy, let's talk about whether you should tell your partner your fantasies. You and your partner might decide to talk about your fantasies so you can both learn intimate things about the other. The more you share about your sexual fantasies, the more your partner gets to understand your thoughts on sex. Perhaps your partner never knew you had such a wild imagination, and he or she would love the chance to explore some of your fantasy scenes with you. These are positive reasons to talk about your fantasies. But before you do, you need to keep a few things in mind. First of all, you should only tell you partner your fantasies if you think he or she can handle hearing them. You must be sure that he or she already understands that fantasies are natural and normal and harmless. If your partner has a conventional approach to sex, then telling your fantasies could be upsetting to him or her. If you think that your partner would freak out if he or she learned, for example, that once in a while you have same-sex fantasies, then there's no need to tell. It might be interesting to tell a fantasy like that one just so your partner can learn what your imagination holds, but it is never worth telling if you think your partner can't handle knowing. If you really, really want to tell this person, then just be sure that you tell your fantasies carefully. What I mean is, tell your mild fantasies before you tell your wild fantasies. Second, if you tell your partner your fantasies, you might want to explain that they are things that you fantasize about while you are masturbating, or just things that you daydream about, rather than what you think about while you are having sex with him or her. It is perfectly normal to occasionally think about other things or other people while you have sex with a partner. (That, in fact, even helps keep some people from cheating, because it gives them an outlet to pretend they are with others.) Yet your partners could get jealous, or even feel threatened, if he or she learns that you are fantasizing about someone else while the two of you are having sex.

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